Marriage in Islam. The Gracious Relationship Of A Marriage.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
Praise be to God the Creator of the world, the One Who exists without beginning, without end, without location, without a "how" and Who does not depend on time. Nothing resembles Him in anyway and He hears and sees everything without organs. Whatever you imagine, God is different from that. May the elevation in degree and preservation of his community of what he fears for it, be granted to our master Muḥammad Al-'Amin, the Honest One, who called for following Islam, the religion of truth, the religion of all the Prophets: of the first, Adam, to the last Muḥammad.
Islam constitutes rights for woman as it does for men. This fairness is clearly stated in the Holy Qur’an. Allâh said:
﴿وَالْمُطَلَّقَاتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَاثَةَ قُرُوءٍ ۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّـهُ فِي أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّـهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ ۚ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوا إِصْلَاحًا ۚ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ﴾
[Surat Al-Baqarah Ayah 228] This glorious Ayah indicates that men are bound to rights and duties, which they have to give to woman, as woman are bound to rights and duties, which they have to give to men, as ordered by Allâh the Exalted.
The advantage of men over woman stated in this Ayah refers to the authority of men over woman, which encompasses the added responsibilities and duties asked of men rather than woman.
The husband is the manager of the household affairs and the only person held responsible for supporting his wife and children with adequate food, clothing and shelter, and for providing them with the security necessary in life.
The wife is not obligated to share in the financial support of the family or herself. By their characteristics, men are made to fit their position of authority and responsibility with the many characteristics that Allāh the Creator has bestowed upon them.
In the noble principles of Islam, the wife is entitled to certain rights from her husband. This is indicated in Surat Al-Baqarah, Ayah 233:
﴿ وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَىٰ ۖ وَأَقِمْنَ الصَّلَاةَ وَآتِينَ الزَّكَاةَ وَأَطِعْنَ اللَّـهَ وَرَسُولَهُ ۚ إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ اللَّـهُ لِيُذْهِبَ عَنكُمُ الرِّجْسَ أَهْلَ الْبَيْتِ وَيُطَهِّرَكُمْ تَطْهِيرًا ﴾
The first of these obligations is for the husband to give moderate financial support to his wife and dependants, from his lawfully earned income. This includes providing adequate food, clothing and a suitable home.
These rights of woman are also confirmed in the response of Prophet Muḥammad to one of his companions when asked: “Oh messenger of Allâh, what are the rights of our woman upon us?” The Prophet answered what means: « To provide her with the sustenance obligated upon you, to clothe her as you are obligated to , to abstain from abusing her verbally, mentally or physically (in accordance with the rules of Islam). If discipline is required then in the privacy of your home you are allowed to suspend sexual relationships »
In his Hadith the prophet forbids the husband from abusing his wife in any way or form. For example hitting her on the face is forbidden.
The husband is not permitted to verbally abuse his wife in any way, such as swearing at her or her parents and kin, cursing her or them, or saying such words as ‘May Allâh make you repulsive’ and the like.
Our dear Prophet Muḥammad peace be upon him ordered men to treat their wives with kindness and patience.
Equally important are the rights of the husband due to him from his wife. It is a duty upon the wife to obey her husband in all matters that agree with Islam.
The wife is obligated to satisfy her husband’s desires and is not permitted to deny her husband his rightful pleasures with her, without an Islamic valid reason. Also as part of the husband’s rights, the wife should ask his approval before fasting optional days. As well, the wife must not welcome any person into his home without her husband’s approval.
The wife also needs her husband’s approval to leave his house for any reason except for matters of urgency. However, if the husband tells his wife to commit a sinful deed, then she becomes obligated to disobey him, because the Islamic principle stands that "no obedience is due to any creation in matters that oppose the rules of the creator", according to the Hadith narrated bay AHmad
قال رسول الله صلى عليه وسلم قال:
"لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق" رواه أحمد.
If the husband gives his wife permission to go out of the house within the guidelines of Islam, she is therefore not forbidden to do so.
However she must remember her obedience to Allāh and keep within the Islamic dress code and manner of conduct especially whilst in public. A reference to this matter is made in the Qur’an and Particularly in Surat Al-AHzab, Ayah 33.
Also from the rights of the husband is the duty upon the wife to groom herself for him if he tells her to. She should always take care to greet him with an attractive and well- presented appearance in the ways of personal cleansing, hygiene and grooming.
The wife is expected to be protective of her husband’s wealth and assets both in his presences and in his absence.
This means she should preserve what he has in fortunes and money and not spend his money freely without consideration, and without consideration, and without his permission.
It is a duty upon the wife to respect her husband at all times and to display authority over him and to respect his advantages and authority over her.
The wife must keep in mind that her husband is the person most deserving of her care, attention and devotion.
In this respect Prophet Muḥammad said what means: « In regards to the rights of men, the greatest of rights are due to the husband from his wife, in regards to the rights of woman, the greatest of rights are due to the mother from her son. » Al-Hakim and other scholars related this Hadîth. In a Hadîth the Prophet said: what means « Any woman who dies leaving a husband who is pleased with her, enters Paradise. »
The most vital aspect of a blissful marriage relies equally upon the husband and wife and is yet to be mentioned.
Both husband and wife are bound to adhere to the compelling teachings of Islam. They are equally responsible of their duties to one another and most importantly their duties to their Creator.
For a peaceful and long lasting marriage they must exercise forgiveness and discipline themselves against holding grudges.
Inevitably it is only by adhering to Islam that a married couple will have hope in leading a successful functional, affectionate and satisfying marital relationship whilst preserving for themselves a high status in the hereafter.
In the end let us take heed of the holly Qur’ân and the honorable instructions of our dear Prophet Muḥammad as well as the advice of the most pious among us.
الحمد لله رب العالمين